does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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