I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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