Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
