god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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