Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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