The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
