But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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