So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
