Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
