goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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