so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I want is dick and wine.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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