1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
After last night, I could never be a politician.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
