Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
