I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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