You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
