If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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