sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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