$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
