Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
