i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
