I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
