Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
