just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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