My room smells like vodka and shame
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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