I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
