Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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