i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its about making memories worth repressing
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
