they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
