I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
