Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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