drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize