Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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