she was so not down for the gang bang
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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