sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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