Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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