I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Terrible idea I love it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
