Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
