Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
