I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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