I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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