biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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