yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
