I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
