we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
