Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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