he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
