i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Less talking, more tequila
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
