what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
