So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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