and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
