Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
