i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
