Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
