it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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