i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
