On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
