Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
