are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
