More tranny stories later!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
