There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
