We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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