we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
