K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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