The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
